What the dillio?

ER Saga ending...

2009-04-02T09:14:00.000-07:00

I have watched ER since the beginning. I started watching it with my mom on Thursday nights. I remember thinking this is was emergency rooms is like, having never been in one and being only 14 at the time I thought why wouldn't this be realistic. I loved the characters both doctors and the patients, some of them are more memorable then others but...like any show.

I cried when Mark Greene died, when Carol meets up with Doug in Seattle with the twins, when Carter was attacked...there are so many moments. I know some fans stopped watching when the originals left, but I was hooked on the show and now 15 years later I am still an avid watcher. I will try to avoid going anywhere or plan it early enough that I can be home to watch ER. Side Note: A friend of mine in High School used to call me every night to chat and I would hang up on him, until he caught on, at 9pm on the dot when the opening scenes started. I needed uninterupted attention to Chicago's County General Hospital ER (I tried a couple of times to stay on and talk while watching but it just didn't work). He learned and just called earlier;). If I couldn't get out of not being there I recorded it faithfully. I remember coming home and getting excited at the prospect of watching to see what happened at County.

As I mentioned there are so many of my favorite scenes and storylines that it's hard to come up with one, so I will try for Top 5.

#1- Hands down favorite episode as well as the saddest is the episode when Dr Mark Greene dies. He was the heart of the ER, he got it done with compassion though some may not say that all the time. He worked with a brain tumor! He was so dedicated that he lost his first wife to his work, it took the brain tumor to see that life was too short. I loved that he was in his favorite place as a kid, he tried to teach Rachel how to surf and how to drive before he passed. He was with his favorite girls, Ella, Elizabeth, and Rachel. I still get teary eyed when I hear that song, that version at least, of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow". Then to close the scene with all the County staff reading the letter that Elizabeth wrote letting them know he had passed. Dr Carter tried to carry on like Dr Greene would have, but in his own way. And so the torch was passed.

#2- Abby and Luka's wedding, a great episode. Another tear jerker for me, so much emotion, it was great to see Abby being as girly as she can get. I do remember thinking it pretty funny that Luka was more emotional then Abby was. Unfortunate ending but turned into a great line for Neela.

#3- Carol finds Doug in Seattle. I think that's all I need to say about that one, the realization that she can't do it with anyone else but him.

#4-Pratt dies...I was bawling again. He finally get around to being the man he has wanted to be and take that final step of commitment with Bettina, and he was becoming chief of staff for the ER, a role that his mentors probably would have never guessed would have guessed him to be able to commit to such an undertaking but he grew into the part totally. He stepped up as he had to do throughout, it just took a bit to humble him to make him better for the part.

#5-Kem and Carter lose the baby. All the episodes that deal with this, the actual labor, the seeing him and saying good bye in the NICU and finally saying their goodbyes as they scatter his ashes. It also showed the emotions they had for each other and even though they deeply cared for each other they knew that it was going to be a tough road as they both dealt with the death.

Which I guess sums up why I loved ER so much, they had a way of bringing everyday topics into everyones eyes, whether it affected them directly or not, it got you thinking about what everyday people go through. It was always a provocative show which tugged at every viewer and fans heartstrings and therefore bringing them back to watch every week. It seems silly but I felt like I knew the characters personally, I knew what they felt in their worst moments in their finest moments, the whole spectrum. That is what I will miss about ER.

It's just good music if you can feel it in your soul...Aimee Mayo Et al

2008-07-18T09:57:00.000-07:00

That lyric has been stuck in my head since I first heard it on the Set This Circus Down album of Tim McGraws. That lyric says exactly what I feel about music, I have been a music lover as long as I can remember, there has always been a radio on. I thank my mom and Aunt for introducing me to music, they were the ones that started the foundation of musical love for me. My mom had this yellow 79 Mustang that only had AM radio so all I knew was "golden oldies", the stuff my mom listened to when she was growing up, I was like 4 I didn't know there was other music out there...yet.

I have a list that goes on for miles of favorite songs and bands that I love, in all genres of music as well. I have always been a general fan of something with a good beat, or a line I can sing along with. Here's a sampling...the most important and influential.

Brown Eyed Girl-Van Morrison, this has been a favorite of mine since I realized that was the closest color to my eye color and the song is totally fun to sing. Now whenever I hear it I also think of one of my favorite movies (that's a whole nother post) "Sleeping with the Enemy" with Julia Roberts, she is dancing in the theater department with the cutie!

Fancy-Reba McEntire, this was the first country song I heard and I actually liked it. Helped that one of my favorite people introduced it to me because it was her favorite song, my stepmom Mitzi. This song, to this day makes me think of her and what an amazing woman that Fancy became, stood on her own two feet and made something respectable for herself. Women Empowerment!

Indian Outlaw-Tim McGraw, by the time I heard this song I was warming up to country, I had always thought it was twangy and sob stories, conjured images of Dolly Parton-esque women. I heard this song and fell in love with the voice, and ultimately became an enormous Tim fan. After this song I was hooked, and country music was added to my collection, and has never left.

Only Want to Be with You-Hootie and the Blowfish, this song was another one that I heard the voice and was hooked. I listened to this song and I wanted to be that person for a boy, I wanted to be the girl that a boy wanted to be with, and never let go. I wanted that fun love and romance. To this day I hear this song and think of the summer that I first heard it and the crush I had on the boy...wonder where he is now?

You Oughta Know-Alanis Morrisette, this song was another empowered woman song for me. This song made me think, you never let a man take advantage of you and you are strong enough.

As I mentioned the list goes on for miles. Songs stick with me if they have a good beat that I can move to, it makes me happy, or the lines of the song strike me, either philosophical or just hits the nail on the head kind of sentiment.

My favorite comment a person has made about my love of music was my best friend Hillary, we were walking to class one day in college and I burst out into a song, she replies "You have a perpetual jukebox playing in your head at all times don't you?" I laughed because it was funny, but also because it was true. There is always some song playing around in my head. I am attracted to music, it's always on my mind!

2007-08-21T15:25:00.000-07:00

So it's been a while since I did this, and I think the reason is that I haven't felt like I have had something profound to say and that's what I think this is, a place to put down your thoughts so that others read them. Well there seems to be only one person that ever reads this and that was just by luck I think that she found this site. I haven't shared it with anyone else because I haven't felt like it was something worth sharing.

I feel like I have all these thoughts I want to get out of my head but when it comes time to actually writing them down it never comes out. I wanted to start writing for the therapy of it, to release the energy that I use up stressing about stuff but it seems like so much work to get it out there. Everything seems like too much work for me lately. How did I become so lazy? Then again I have never been one of those totally gung ho people that has to be on the go all the time. My favorite pastime is actaully sitting in a mall or bar watching the people go by. I had a friend in MN that would sit there with me and make up stories about their lives. Haven't quite found the right place for that, here, not to just sit and watch. The Mall of America was one of my favorite places for that.

That's all I got for today...while writing this I came up with a couple ideas, so maybe like once a week....

Da Dat Da Da....

2007-02-02T12:55:00.000-08:00

Why are girls obsessed with getting married? How did it become that it was another one of those rites of passage that a woman want to get married? And why does it become sooo contagious...I have a little sister getting married soon, a bunch of friends that have recently and one that just got engaged last week. Now all I have on my mind is what I would like for my big day. I have been thinking (plotting, planning) of things that I want to make my day special and have a list a mile long. I have been with my boyfriend for over 5 years so we keep getting the "So when are you two getting married?" and actually have been for a couple years now. I thought I was likely to be the next one to be married seeing as I have been in a relationship longer then my next oldest cousin that is single, but my little sister is beating me to the punch.

I am in love with the whole idea of planning everything, planning it to be one great event that everyone will have a blast with. The up and down side to getting married after everyone is that I can see the things that didn't work out but then my ideas or colors have the chance of getting stolen before I have a chance to use them. I have started a list of who I want favors I like, cake designs (which I struggle with seeing as I don't like cake), dresses for me and for the girls. I have teased that I can have the whole wedding planned in a matter of 6 months all I need is the ring. Someone once mentioned that well why don't you just ask him to marry you if you think that you are ready for it, I guess I am still old fashioned enough to want the boy to ask me. And in my case, I asked him out so it's technically his turn to do the asking....

A Purpose

2007-01-25T10:07:00.000-08:00

I was reading another blog the other day that started a thought process in my head. I have thought about this before but never got anywhere...haven't again so far so that's why I am putting this out there.

I have realized that each person has one innate talent that tends gives them a direction in life, some people are very annalytical so they become inspectors or accountants, some have amazing talents in the creativity of anything and everything they tend to become artists. I have struggled with what I am REALLY good at what my innate talent is, this could be why it took me so long to decide on a major in college and make any decision for that matter. I chose politics for the interest and the subjects intrigued me. I got out in the real world and realized that I wasn't talented enough to be ruthless and care about every single move I made could affect me down the road someday. Since the political field was what I had been striving for and working towards for three years I was stuck with what to do without it.

How does one realize what their purpose and innate talent that is to guide them throuhg life is. I feel I have alot of talents but not one specific on that has been able to guide me through everything. I pull on all the talents I have acquired...

Creativity - my mom taught me to be crafty and see things in how can I make them better and for cheaper.

Frugality/Spend-Thrifty-ness - I put on a budget at a young age and taught that money needs to last you as long as possible.

Organization - Again mom taught me that if I am organized I will be able to find things faster then if nothing has "it's own place". (Dreaded it at that young age but it has helped me work through tough spots in my life to go back to organizing everything..thoughts, money, etc.)

Strength/sounding board/listener - I have been that person that people turn to for advice and to be the person they lean on. Has also turned into a Mother Hen sort of character as well that I am the one that makes sure that everyone else is happy.

I don't know why this is bothering me but I have been thinking about it for some time and trying to figure out what I was put here for and the goals that I am to acheive in my time on this earth.

The Stress of it all...

2007-01-16T13:26:00.000-08:00

I know that I am a very lucky girl having had 4 parents to help me out whenever I have needed any sort of help. And I wouldn't change that at all for the world, each of my 4 parents have helped mold me into the woman I am today.

What makes me think of this is that I had 4 parents and now am down to 2, the original two that brought me into this world. This is what I dreamed of as a little girl that my parents would be together again and we would be Krugers...well I don't think that's going to work out that way this time. I am still the missing link that connects these two people to each other, but I am now also the support system for them. I just lost my Stepdad, Jeff in the end of 2006, Mom's partner for almost 25 years. I am now the child keeping my parent's in line so that they don't come completely unglued. I knew that it would happen someday but I never thought I would only be 26 when it happened. Not that either one is a convalescent or anything like that but they are both without that supporter that has stood by their sides for 20 some odd years and now that person is gone.

I was talking to my cousin about it the other day and he mentioned that it's in our Kruger-nature to take care of our family even if it means that we get left out or forgotten, we are ones that will always and forever put Family FIRST. I have always felt that way but right now I feel pretty drained by the very thought of it. I have told people what has happened and they all say take care of yourself too while you are taking care of your Mom and Dad, but I don't know how to do that. My whole world seems to revolve around taking care of someone else other then me. The only thing that I can think of to console myself is buying something, and then when I think of that I think what the hell are you going to do with that in 6 months. Or it triggers something else, then there is a spa day or something like that and that conjures up thoughts of do I really have the money to be doing something like that?? That is too frivilous for my budget.

I know that I have an amazing groups of friends, as my parents do too to rely on but I don't know what to ask them to help me with, if I can't figure out what I want then, how am I supposed to ask for help with it?

Holidays are here again...

2006-12-07T10:12:00.000-08:00

It's something about this time of the year that gets you thinking...about everything. About those you love, changes that have happened throughout the year, things you want to accomplish in the new year, and for some thinking about their faith. I know that the true meaning of Christmas was lost loooong ago, sad to say for some but the businesses that are able to finish their year off in the black.

My boyfriend is one of those people that hates celebrating holidays that have become as he calls them Hallmark holidays...meaning that they are only celebrated so that Hallmark and other stores have an excuse to sell a product to the poor saps that buy anything because it's a "holiday". This is why we do not celebrate Valentine's Day, and I have to actually go out an get cards to for Mother's/Father's Days. I agree with him to a point but I also like the fact that we have that day to celebrate all that our parents do for us. There is a website that cracks me up www.holidayinsights.com it lists events and holidays for everyday of the year. November is listed as being National Peanut Butter Month?? Really a food needs to be celebrated nationally?

I digress. The point I wanted to make is that this is the time of reflection on what has happened and the plans for the future that is so closely upon us. Cherish your loved ones, tell them you love them as often as possible, work on being the person that you want to be everyday instead of a certain time of the year. I know that's easier said then done, but if you start now the more likely it is to catch on...well maybe it gets pretty hectic with the holidays. I am trying to think about it everyday at least once, I send out my love to all that I love even if it just a thought, my thought is that they sense it and get that warm fuzzy feeling, even just for a moment.

Happy Holidays to you and yours! Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and Happy Belated Thanksgiving!

How do you forget...

2006-05-24T09:51:00.000-07:00

I haven't had many people in my life that have left me, I have been lucky in that respect. Those few people that have left me have seemed to make more of an impact on my life since they have left then when they were here. I guess I took them for granted when they were here that I would still have time to grow with them and learn more about them. I think the lesson was learned...live each day to it's fullest and make sure that you tell all your loved ones that you love them whenever you get the chance...every day.

My Uncle Ardie was the first one to leave, he had an accident at work and it was such a shock he was soo full of life and such an exuberant person, not to mention my favorite Uncle so that made it even more impacted in my life. His daughter is like the big sister that I never had, we fought like sisters even though we were cousins I think it was the age thing we are only 15 months apart and we spent soo much time together when we were younger that we couldn't help but think we were more then just cousins. I can still see my uncle sitting in his spot at the bar, he was the greeting you got when you entered their home. He always had a flannel shirt, blue jeans, white socks, and a Pepsi, that is the image I have of him whenever I think of him. He had this insatiable giggle, just hearing this little kid giggle come out of such a BIG guy made you laugh. My cousin is now a Mom and I think of how great he would be with those little kids of hers, especially her little boy Jayden (also my godson!) the games those two would play.

My Grandma Val was one hell of a woman, I knew that she was strong to raise two girls on her own after my grandpa died, but the stories I heard after she passed made me realize even more that she was an incredible lady that stuck to her guns. She stuck to what she knew best her family, she was the epitome of a matriarch of the family the sun rose and set on what she thought, don't get me wrong my mom and aunt may not have thought that but when I look back on their stories she was the final say in everything. She was one of those strong silent type, wasn't a gossip or anything like that but even in the silence you knew what she wanted you to do. I look to her for strength when I feel like I don't have enough, she was in my thoughts when I thought things were too hard in college, just the thought of her beaming with pride helped me though whatever problem I was having.

My Opa, another one of those strong silent types. I, not until recently, had no idea who my Opa really was, he was just Opa. I knew he was my Dad and Aunts and Uncles' dad, but for some reason I never thought of him in that way he was my Opa. He was the only farmer I ever knew, when I was 8, I was a city girl so I didn't know too many farmers, he was the first Pickup I ever rode in, I remember that Blue trick with the bench seat and the fabric that itched when you sat on it with shorts. I had never heard stories of how Opa was as a Dad until recently when I have been able to spend more time with my dad. He still was that strong silent type for him but it was different because it was his kids, when he was an Opa he sometimes came across as a grumpy old man, now I realize that he was just trying to lay down the law that he was the Law on the farm and wasn't anyone going to tell him differently. But those moments when all the kids and grandkids were home and on the farm were some of his greatest times.

The hardest person to let go has been by far my mom Mitzi. She was so young and so full of life, she had plans and dreams of things that she wanted to do. There have been moments when I feel like I should have done more to please her and make her wishes of me come true...she wanted to see me have grandkids...started asking me to give her a grandkids when I was a freshman in College. She just loved babies and wanted one to play with...she once offered to come and live with me for a month after I had tha baby. Even though I wasn't dating anyone at the time, that didn't seem to phase her at all. She was technically my Stepmom, but she was soo much more then that to me, she was like a big sister, I could tell her things that I wouldn't tell my own mother. She was the one who got me things that I wouldn't buy myself and my mom wouldn't get me. She left so early that I still miss her everyday and talk to her almost every day. She was such an influence in my life that it's still hard to imagine her not there for Christmas, our birthdays, and the hardest will be the upcoming wedding of her little girl Shena.

I know that we all deal with loss, and that's just it we have to deal with it and get on with our everyday lives. Sometimes we forget that we have other people not physically there that support us and help us with our every day lives, we all need all the help we can get. We miss you all.

Rejected Tour Names

2006-05-22T10:35:00.000-07:00

So never before have I been soooo excited about a new album coming out as I have been able to the Dixie Chicks new album!!! I am ready for it all I have missed them sooo much in the past couple of years. I know they have been busy adding to their brood of babies, but also preparing for a comeback so much needed.

I know some will not agree with me they still have a sore spot for them due to a line said in between songs. My thoughts are they just vocalizes what SOOOOOOOOOO many of us were feeling but do not have the forum to get the words across. I am proud to say that I am a democrat. I had a conversation with a cousin and then her parents at my high school graduation so many years ago, that they both said they started out with the same feelings that I have had and they eventually switched sides. I still feel as strong about the issues that make me a Democrat now, some of the issues are more prevelant and dominant with higher understanding of what it means to have that view on that issue. Either way I still agree with what Natalie said, I am on the same wavelength.

Their new single that has been sweeping the airwaves, the lyrics are quite potent and with the music...pure Dixie Chicks! one of the reasons I have been such a big fan.
"Not Ready to Make Nice"
Click here to listen to the song!
Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting
I’m through with doubt
There’s nothing left for me to figure out
I’ve paid a priceAnd I’ll keep paying
I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should
I know you said
Can’t you just get over it
It turned my whole world aroundAnd I kind of like it
I made my bed and I sleep like a baby
With no regrets and I don’t mind sayin’
It’s a sad sad story when a mother will teach her
Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger
And how in the world can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they’d write me a letter
Sayin’ that I better shut up and sing
Or my life will be over
I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back downI’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should
I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should
Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting

There is a point to this ramble really. I just thought that these rejected titles for their upcoming tour should be shared (FYI the ones in purple are the ones I like). Accidents & Accusations World Tour is coming to a town near your and the album drops tomorrow!! Check it out!

Rejected Tour Names
1. Let's Make Nice Tour
2.The Time to Back Down Tour
3. Women Should Shut Up and Sing Tour
4. Tour to Demonstrate That Your Death Threats Changed Our Minds
5. We'll Do What You Think We Should Tour
6. The "Four More Years!" Tour
7. The Tour That Goes Round and Round and Round
8. The Dissent is Un-American / Mea Culpa Tour
9. The Hello Earl Tour
10. An Evening with Treason

When did the world come to this...

2006-04-28T09:16:00.000-07:00

When was it decided that women had to be thin? Why? Where did the corner turn form likeing full figuredesque women? When did the programming for women change that they had to be the pleasure-able figure for men, why do we put ourselves through these things. I have a couple of good friends that are just as frustrated as I am with their appearance, I happened to think why do we have to change our appearance in order to look more astetically pleasing, isn't there more important things that we could be focusing our time on. Sure I would like to loose weight but it's more because I hate the fact that I get winded so easliy and I know that if I continue with the weight that I am I will succumb to health problems later in life, such as diabetes that runs in my families, both sides. I am trying to make the effort to change my lifestyle now before I have to train another human being what is right.

I see these programs coming up about "Honey, We are killing the kids" on TLC and it concerns me that we have to create programs such as this to teach and alert families of this unhealthy eating to families. It makes me wonder where the chain got started, the parents learned from their parents or they are just working too hard to make ends meet that they have little time to put into teaching healthy eating habits, and due to time contrants parents pick up dinner from some fast food restaurant or order in or just throw a TV dinner in the microwave to feed the kids quick. I know that it is because of the need to have more money to make ends meet, back in the day of our grandparents raising our parents moms stayed home to raise the kids because they were taught it wasn't right for the woman to be out in the workforce. So they had time to make meals and I grew up in the midwest were everyone had a garden to supplement what they couldn't afford to buy at the store.

Back to the women's view of needing to look thin and perfect, I know it comes from seeing these waif thin women in the magazines, I watch "America's Next Top Model" occasionally and my favorites have been women with a little meat on their bones, these women that don't have any curves or you can see their collar bone so do not appeal to me. Britney Spears, Miranda Lambert and Gretchen Wilson, are all women that appeal for me to acheive their bodies, they aren't waif thin but they have toned what they have so that it isn't flabby and they are happy with it, they eat what they want but then work it off so that it doesn't get to be out of hand...
I don't know where this all stared but I wish there was a way to stop this I hate to imagine my little niece having to struggle with her body image...I want to teach her to love herself and what she looks like no matter what.

To the ones that left me behind

2005-11-17T10:44:00.000-08:00

I have recently been struck with a left hook. A friend of mine that was only a couple months older then myself died. It was an accident but it still makes you stop and think what if you died today. I am a thinker so that happens a little bit that I think about things that ordinary people pass off to think of another day.
There was this thing on the Today Show this morning, about making sure that your elderly parents have all their documents in order, a living will, health care proxy and all those other decisions that a person my age wouldn't usually think of but earlier this year I lost a parent and we hadn't had those conversations, I didn't get to have that conversation with her about not being here anymore, she didn't think that she was going to die as soon as she did. I still struggle with not having her here, especially this time of the year, it's Thanksgiving and I just move a couple blocks from her and was excited about the prospect of being around with her and then there is Christmas!! Both of our favorite holidays, buying presents for our loved ones, we would go overboard.....spoil my niece/her grandbaby.....the dogs.....Dad.....
There is this ornament I have been seeing a couple sale ads. It's a little creepy but I can see it being a comfort. I feel like I want to get it but I also think that it will make me sad and think of her everytime I see it......we always miss the ones that aren't here.....they are still with us every day and helping us with those tough moments.
I love you Mitzi, Gramma Val, Opa, Great Oma, Uncle Jacob, Grandma and Grandpa Peterson, Aunt Lucille, Uncle Ardie, and Mike Nygaard.

Falling leaves...

2005-10-03T12:36:00.000-07:00

So it's that time of the year again. When things get crisp, trees change colors, and my favorite color is ALLL over the place, on leaves, pumpkins, halloween signs, candies....it's just that time of the year for ORANGE!
It also seems to be the time of the year that I start thinking of what I want to get people for christmas, I always have the intentions of getting started early but because I can't make a decision for the live of me without checking out all the places that COULD carry that one item. And then there is the whole possiblity of making something for everyone because that cheaper and it means more but it takes up soooo much time, that it sometimes doesn't seem worth the extra dollars in my checkbook. But it never fails that at least three people on my list gets something homemade, my creativity needs to be outletted somewhere.

So this is also the time of the year that you lose your man to the TV every sunday and monday nights. Or in my case it will be whenever Hockey is on so it tends to be a little more un-predictable to the loss. They play SOOOO many games and so that doesn't leave just one or maybe two days a week that you are lost to the TV sports void created for men to ignore women. Like we don't have enough problems getting their attention, then you have to create a shcedule that is almost whimsical (meaning that whenever it works for the League to schedule games they do not trying to designate just a night or maybe two for their games.) And in the day and age of like 15 channels of ESPN and FOX sports, etc. they can't miss what joe schmoe says about their players or this missed kick/goal. Leaving more hours spent tracking and being the "sports agent" they always wanted to secretly be. They don't get paid for knowing how many assists this player has and how many touchdowns were made, so why know it.

They say that about the "gossip" columns and magazines that we read and watch, is useless information but it isn't we use the trials and tribulations of celebrities to prevent them from happening in our own lives and we can have files of useless information and still be able to concentrate on almost anything they use one part of their brain at a time and that's it it is left up to us to worry about 10 things at once.
there load off!

Where has all the fun gone?

2005-09-09T09:07:00.000-07:00

I just recently made a major change in my life and uprooted my whole life, boyfriend and all and moved across the country to sunny (well not today) California. I have been visiting here since I was little and have tried to get out here before thinking it would be this wonderful Mecca and I would be crazy busy with nothing but fun things to do. I have spent more hours at home in my house then I think I have since before I got my walking shoes.
All the people that I know are friends of my father, the reason that I moved out here. He runs his own automotive repair shop in the East Bay of San Francisco, lost his secretaries and needed some help. I was whining one day about my health insurance and he offered me a job and thus the ball rolled on... Sorry side ramble...not that I think that anyone is reading these but it feels right to get it out there in the world. The other people that I know are family and they have their own lives. I am struggling trying to find something to adjust myself here and make myself happy.
This is the first time that I have not had a sturcture means of getting introduced to a new surrounding, the last experience I had with this would have been back in college and even then I knew about 5 people from High School and it was living in on campus housing so you had no choice but find people to meet and talk to. How do you do it when you move to a new area??

Breast Cancer Cure?

2005-05-19T14:11:00.000-07:00

I have been recently hit with the loss of a parent. I have lost loved ones before but it has never hit me like this one did. My step-mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in spring of 2002 when I was about to graduate from college. We all were scared of it happening, she watched her mother live and die from it back in the early and late 70's when it was all still new and didn't have the advances that are available today. She was diligent with testing herself and getting mammograms I remember her telling me about the first time she wanted to have one done the doctors told her she was too young to worry about it and she had to argue with them, saying that her mom and a couple of aunts died from it and she wanted to beat it soo badly. In the last few months of her life she finally realized that she wasn't going to get passed it and started to regret having kept us all in the dark about what was going on. She was very good at making sure that everyone else was happy and well and she was the last to worry about being sick or anything. We put on her death certificate that her occupation was a homemaker because she was that to EVERYONE that she encountered.
This happening had me thinking about all these walks for Breast Cancer, you have to raise on average $2000 to walk in the race, I know that a portion of that is to have the walks and the supplies, insurance permits, handouts, etc, but you figure that they have about 3000 walkers, all raising $2000 or so a piece that's 6 million dollars, and there are 8 walks that's 48 million dollars raise for Breast Cancer research!!! And we still haven't found a cure!!! What the dillio??