To the ones that left me behind

I have recently been struck with a left hook. A friend of mine that was only a couple months older then myself died. It was an accident but it still makes you stop and think what if you died today. I am a thinker so that happens a little bit that I think about things that ordinary people pass off to think of another day.
There was this thing on the Today Show this morning, about making sure that your elderly parents have all their documents in order, a living will, health care proxy and all those other decisions that a person my age wouldn't usually think of but earlier this year I lost a parent and we hadn't had those conversations, I didn't get to have that conversation with her about not being here anymore, she didn't think that she was going to die as soon as she did. I still struggle with not having her here, especially this time of the year, it's Thanksgiving and I just move a couple blocks from her and was excited about the prospect of being around with her and then there is Christmas!! Both of our favorite holidays, buying presents for our loved ones, we would go overboard.....spoil my niece/her grandbaby.....the dogs.....Dad.....
There is this ornament I have been seeing a couple sale ads. It's a little creepy but I can see it being a comfort. I feel like I want to get it but I also think that it will make me sad and think of her everytime I see it......we always miss the ones that aren't here.....they are still with us every day and helping us with those tough moments.
I love you Mitzi, Gramma Val, Opa, Great Oma, Uncle Jacob, Grandma and Grandpa Peterson, Aunt Lucille, Uncle Ardie, and Mike Nygaard.