I have recently been struck with a left hook. A friend of mine that was only a couple months older then myself died. It was an accident but it still makes you stop and think what if you died today. I am a thinker so that happens a little bit that I think about things that ordinary people pass off to think of another day.
There was this thing on the Today Show this morning, about making sure that your elderly parents have all their documents in order, a living will, health care proxy and all those other decisions that a person my age wouldn't usually think of but earlier this year I lost a parent and we hadn't had those conversations, I didn't get to have that conversation with her about not being here anymore, she didn't think that she was going to die as soon as she did. I still struggle with not having her here, especially this time of the year, it's Thanksgiving and I just move a couple blocks from her and was excited about the prospect of being around with her and then there is Christmas!! Both of our favorite holidays, buying presents for our loved ones, we would go overboard.....spoil my niece/her grandbaby.....the dogs.....Dad.....
There is this ornament I have been seeing a couple sale ads. It's a little creepy but I can see it being a comfort. I feel like I want to get it but I also think that it will make me sad and think of her everytime I see it......we always miss the ones that aren't here.....they are still with us every day and helping us with those tough moments.
I love you Mitzi, Gramma Val, Opa, Great Oma, Uncle Jacob, Grandma and Grandpa Peterson, Aunt Lucille, Uncle Ardie, and Mike Nygaard.
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Monday, October 03, 2005
Falling leaves...
So it's that time of the year again. When things get crisp, trees change colors, and my favorite color is ALLL over the place, on leaves, pumpkins, halloween signs, candies....it's just that time of the year for ORANGE!
It also seems to be the time of the year that I start thinking of what I want to get people for christmas, I always have the intentions of getting started early but because I can't make a decision for the live of me without checking out all the places that COULD carry that one item. And then there is the whole possiblity of making something for everyone because that cheaper and it means more but it takes up soooo much time, that it sometimes doesn't seem worth the extra dollars in my checkbook. But it never fails that at least three people on my list gets something homemade, my creativity needs to be outletted somewhere.
So this is also the time of the year that you lose your man to the TV every sunday and monday nights. Or in my case it will be whenever Hockey is on so it tends to be a little more un-predictable to the loss. They play SOOOO many games and so that doesn't leave just one or maybe two days a week that you are lost to the TV sports void created for men to ignore women. Like we don't have enough problems getting their attention, then you have to create a shcedule that is almost whimsical (meaning that whenever it works for the League to schedule games they do not trying to designate just a night or maybe two for their games.) And in the day and age of like 15 channels of ESPN and FOX sports, etc. they can't miss what joe schmoe says about their players or this missed kick/goal. Leaving more hours spent tracking and being the "sports agent" they always wanted to secretly be. They don't get paid for knowing how many assists this player has and how many touchdowns were made, so why know it.
They say that about the "gossip" columns and magazines that we read and watch, is useless information but it isn't we use the trials and tribulations of celebrities to prevent them from happening in our own lives and we can have files of useless information and still be able to concentrate on almost anything they use one part of their brain at a time and that's it it is left up to us to worry about 10 things at once.
there load off!
It also seems to be the time of the year that I start thinking of what I want to get people for christmas, I always have the intentions of getting started early but because I can't make a decision for the live of me without checking out all the places that COULD carry that one item. And then there is the whole possiblity of making something for everyone because that cheaper and it means more but it takes up soooo much time, that it sometimes doesn't seem worth the extra dollars in my checkbook. But it never fails that at least three people on my list gets something homemade, my creativity needs to be outletted somewhere.
So this is also the time of the year that you lose your man to the TV every sunday and monday nights. Or in my case it will be whenever Hockey is on so it tends to be a little more un-predictable to the loss. They play SOOOO many games and so that doesn't leave just one or maybe two days a week that you are lost to the TV sports void created for men to ignore women. Like we don't have enough problems getting their attention, then you have to create a shcedule that is almost whimsical (meaning that whenever it works for the League to schedule games they do not trying to designate just a night or maybe two for their games.) And in the day and age of like 15 channels of ESPN and FOX sports, etc. they can't miss what joe schmoe says about their players or this missed kick/goal. Leaving more hours spent tracking and being the "sports agent" they always wanted to secretly be. They don't get paid for knowing how many assists this player has and how many touchdowns were made, so why know it.
They say that about the "gossip" columns and magazines that we read and watch, is useless information but it isn't we use the trials and tribulations of celebrities to prevent them from happening in our own lives and we can have files of useless information and still be able to concentrate on almost anything they use one part of their brain at a time and that's it it is left up to us to worry about 10 things at once.
there load off!
Friday, September 09, 2005
Where has all the fun gone?
I just recently made a major change in my life and uprooted my whole life, boyfriend and all and moved across the country to sunny (well not today) California. I have been visiting here since I was little and have tried to get out here before thinking it would be this wonderful Mecca and I would be crazy busy with nothing but fun things to do. I have spent more hours at home in my house then I think I have since before I got my walking shoes.
All the people that I know are friends of my father, the reason that I moved out here. He runs his own automotive repair shop in the East Bay of San Francisco, lost his secretaries and needed some help. I was whining one day about my health insurance and he offered me a job and thus the ball rolled on... Sorry side ramble...not that I think that anyone is reading these but it feels right to get it out there in the world. The other people that I know are family and they have their own lives. I am struggling trying to find something to adjust myself here and make myself happy.
This is the first time that I have not had a sturcture means of getting introduced to a new surrounding, the last experience I had with this would have been back in college and even then I knew about 5 people from High School and it was living in on campus housing so you had no choice but find people to meet and talk to. How do you do it when you move to a new area??
Thursday, May 19, 2005
Breast Cancer Cure?
I have been recently hit with the loss of a parent. I have lost loved ones before but it has never hit me like this one did. My step-mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in spring of 2002 when I was about to graduate from college. We all were scared of it happening, she watched her mother live and die from it back in the early and late 70's when it was all still new and didn't have the advances that are available today. She was diligent with testing herself and getting mammograms I remember her telling me about the first time she wanted to have one done the doctors told her she was too young to worry about it and she had to argue with them, saying that her mom and a couple of aunts died from it and she wanted to beat it soo badly. In the last few months of her life she finally realized that she wasn't going to get passed it and started to regret having kept us all in the dark about what was going on. She was very good at making sure that everyone else was happy and well and she was the last to worry about being sick or anything. We put on her death certificate that her occupation was a homemaker because she was that to EVERYONE that she encountered.
This happening had me thinking about all these walks for Breast Cancer, you have to raise on average $2000 to walk in the race, I know that a portion of that is to have the walks and the supplies, insurance permits, handouts, etc, but you figure that they have about 3000 walkers, all raising $2000 or so a piece that's 6 million dollars, and there are 8 walks that's 48 million dollars raise for Breast Cancer research!!! And we still haven't found a cure!!! What the dillio??
This happening had me thinking about all these walks for Breast Cancer, you have to raise on average $2000 to walk in the race, I know that a portion of that is to have the walks and the supplies, insurance permits, handouts, etc, but you figure that they have about 3000 walkers, all raising $2000 or so a piece that's 6 million dollars, and there are 8 walks that's 48 million dollars raise for Breast Cancer research!!! And we still haven't found a cure!!! What the dillio??
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